Thursday, August 14, 2008

I had a bad day, Thanks Ocho Cinco!

Work sucks, My boss is a sexist bitch. I got a speeding ticket, and in order to pay it I have to drive my 15 mpg car 30 minutes to get to my job, where I then have to listen to my boss do what she does, which is nothing. I leave my work and I have a flat tire. Nothing is going right, but something is. Something always brightens my day.

All I got to do is check PFT and I get to see what Chad Johnson said that day and it puts me in a good mood, especially what has came out of his mouth lately.


First off, it has been reported that he is going to legally change his name to 'Ocho Cinco'. Chad Ocho Cinco. It doesn't exactly roll off the tounge, but I find it hilarious none the less. If you don't remember he was fined 5,000 Dollars for coming out of the tunnell and being on the sidelines with 'Ocho Cinco' taped over Johnson on the back of his jersey. Now, he will save that 5,000 dollars and be able to have it on the back of his jersey -- Without the risk of a fine because that will legally be his last name. Genious. Plus, he was harping for a new contract all season, this will help. Players get a portion of every jersey sale, and I can garuntee that this will be the top selling jersey for a while if he goes through with this.

Secondly, and this one is the best. With the olympics in full effect, you may have heard of this swimmer named Michael Phelps, all he has done there is break numerous World Records, and win numerous gold medals. This is what he said about Michael Phelps, after saying that he didn't have any competition there.... in the olympics.... where COUNTRIES send there best athletes...

"Don't laugh. ... I know a couple people who could beat Michael Phelps right
now. Seriously, I'm telling you. And I'm one of them."

Chad Johnson, Chad Ocho Cinco, Chad Whatever, thank you for brightening my day.

NFL All-Thug Team: Offense

Offense
QB: Michael Vick - Falcons: Gave a girl herpes under the alias of "Ron Mexico", was stopped with a water bottle containing a secret compartment that contained something that smelled like marijuana, he claimed it was to hide his jewelry and was never charged. He was also involved in this dog fighting ring that you may have heard about and is in jail for federal consipiracy charges, and gambling charges.
RB: Jamal Lewis - Ravens/Browns: Spent 3 months in prison because he tried to sell cocaine over the phone to a federal investigator.
RB: Ricky Williams - Saints/Dolphins: Tested positive for marijuana twice, and retired before the season a few years ago to go to india and go on a spiritual quest and studied hallistic medicine in California. He went to the CFL and played for the Toronto Argonauts before coming back to the NFL last season.
FB: Reagan "The Juggernaut, Bitch!" Mauia - Dolphins: Reagan was charged with assault when he punched a man outside a club for 'looking at him the wrong way'
WR: Chris Henry - Bengals: Numerous, numerous, numerous assault, drug, drinking, DUI charges. An all around NFL Bad Ass with too many charges to list here.
WR: Santonio Holmes - Steelers: Arrested twice before he signed his first NFL contract with the Steelers. Arrested for Domestic Abuse, and assault. Also has 2 children with 2 mothers.
WR: Koren Robinson - Seahawks/Vikings/Packers: Numerous DUI's and DWI's, led the police on a high speed police chase and spent 90 days in prison. He is now on probation for three years.
TE: Jerramy Steves - Seahawks/Buccaneers: Rape charges, DUI charges, and a list of humorous things that got him kicked out of a condo including used condoms laying everywhere, puke on other residents front steps, loud parties, and yards littered with beer cans.
OL: Ross Verba - Lions/Packers: Was arrested after warrents were out for his arrest for felony charges involving writing bad checks.
OL: Eric Steinbach - Bengals/Browns: BUI - Boating under the Influence.
OL: Olin Kreutz - Bears: Broke the jaw of offensive lineman teammate Fred Miller at a FBI shooting range
OL: Khalif Barnes - Jaguars: stopped for speeding after going 101 MPH, and was charged with DUI. Called the arresting officer a racist, that he was the KKK Devil, and hated all colored people.
K: Sebastion "SeaBass" Janikowski - Raiders: Arrested for assault after a barfight in college, arrested for possession of date rape pills, tried bribing an officer while trying to get his friend to stay out of prison, and was arrested for DUI.
Defense
DE: Leonard Little - Rams: blew a .19 after a night of drinking after crashing and killing a girl. Spent 90 days in jail for involuntary manslaughter. 6 years later he was arrested for a felony DUI, but was dropped and he got speeding charges.
DT: Albert Haynesworth - Titans: Stomped on the face of C - Andre Gurode of the Cowboys and recieved the longest suspension for an on field incident.
DT: Tank Johnson - Bears/Cowboys: Spent time in prison for gun charges. Charged with resisting arrest and and aggravated assault and was maced by an officer after arguing. Was arrested for 'slight DUI' and was cut by the bears, was later found to be under the legal limit. Was charged with 10 counts of possessing a weapon without the right state liscense I.D. He had enough ammo to take over a small country.
DE: Jared Allen - Chiefs/Vikings: 4 DUI's in 3 months. Was only suspended for 2 games despite that.
DE: Frostee Rucker - Bengals: 2 counts of spousal battery and vandalism, while at colorado state was charged with rape and indecent exposure. At the age of 13, was charged with sexual assault of an 11 year old.
LB: A.J. Nicholson - Bengals: Breaking into a house and stealing electronics, has been charged with DUI, possession of an unliscensed weapon, theft of electronics, sexual assault, and domestic violence.
LB: Ray Lewis - Ravens: Brought in for questioning in the stabbing death of two people, lied to the police saying he didn't know the other suspects. The driver of his limo stated that he saw Ray strike one of the deceased. He was indicted for murder and aggravated assault, but all charges were dropped.
LB: Odell Thurman - Bengals: Violation of the substance abuse policy three times and suspended a total of 32 NFL games. He was falsly charged for kicking a kid in the face, and recently was suspended indefinitly for another assault charge.
CB: Adam 'Pacman' Jones - Titans/Cowboys: Like Chris Henry, too many charges to list. Including his Caddy getting seized in a drug bust, 'making it rain' in a club, which led to a man getting paralyzed after getting shot, and biting a cop after getting stopped and charged with possession of marijuana. An all around NFL Bad Ass.
S: Terrence Keil - Chargers: Cited for public urination, was arrested for shipping cough syrup across the country to make 'purple drank'. Recently died in a car accident in which he was drinking prior to, R.I.P.
S: Dwight Smith - Vikings/Lions: Aggravated assault after a road rage incident with a gun. Arrested for possession of marijuana, and charged with indecent exposure during a sexual excursion with a woman in a stairwell.
CB: Fred Smoot - Redskins/Vikings/Redskins: Charged with using a sex toy on female dancers during the 'love boat' scandal in Minnesota. Plead guilty to public nuisance on a watercraft, and disorderly conduct.
P: Todd Sauerbrun - Broncos/Patriots: Suspended 4 games for steroids, arrested for DUI, and was arrested after an assault with a taxi cab driver
KOS: Lawrence Tynes - Chiefs/Broncos: Arrested for assault when he broke the nose of a bouncer at a bar during training camp in Wisconsin.
Coaching Staff
GM: Bill Polian: Jay Glazer reported that he assaulted a member of Jets front office.
Head Coach: Bill Belichick: Assaulted a camera man after a Jets game, fined 250,000 for his involvement in the 'spygate' scandal for filming, and using the film, of other teams defensive signals. Was listed as the 'other man' in a divorce settlement.
Assistant Coach: Richie Anderson: Arrested for soliciting a prostitute.
Assistant Coach: Joe Cullen: Arrested for DUI, and indecent exposure, was naked in a Wendys drivethrough.
Head Scout: Marvin Lewis: Brings in many thugs to the Bengals
Cheerleaders: Panthers cheerleaders: 2 were arrested for assault in a bar bathroom.
Towel Boys: Andy Reid's sons: Multiple drug charges, and DUI charges.